ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize