We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
