Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I smell stomach acid.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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