I wish i was in the wii world.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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