The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
