I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
