Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
