i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
