she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
