u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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