Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize