I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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