Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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