Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
