what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize