My balls are so social today.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
