You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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