I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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