just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize