either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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