I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
