Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
