Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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