I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will be naked everywhere
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
