So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
