i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
