PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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