I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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