This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
