Can Purell be used as lube?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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