I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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