They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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