Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
