I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
