quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
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