I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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