my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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