he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
