you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
