I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
