Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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