it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
