How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
