Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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