We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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