I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
