she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
