I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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