I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
