I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
