things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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