Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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