so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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