ugly people sure do ruin things
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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