Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
