I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
