And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
