so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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