CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
