Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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