i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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