Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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