oh god the rape fog is back!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
