shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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