Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
