Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
