You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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