I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
