Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think your dad took our porno
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize