no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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