first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
