officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
