Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
