It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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