I'm lost and stupid without you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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