Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize