You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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