Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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