Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
