the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
