I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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