yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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