You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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