After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
People in love make me want to vomit
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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