I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the condom got lost in my hair
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Enjoy the penises
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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