Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
