Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize