I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
