you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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