I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So much Jack, so little girl.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
